you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
