Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
