well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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