I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
