My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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