so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
