Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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