I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
