hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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