i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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