You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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