Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
