So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
