You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
