the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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