Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
