Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
