your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
