so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Randomize
