what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
