ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
