I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
