hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
