If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
