so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
