So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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