Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
