the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
birth control should be required to get into college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
