super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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