I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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