Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
