My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
