brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do herpes really smell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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