I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
