He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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