I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
