I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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