you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
