Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
