The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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