And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
