I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
