This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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