This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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