thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
