i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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