Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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