i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
