have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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