So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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