her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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