4 words: hood of his car
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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