i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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